Psychic Swansea

 

Making it work for you.

 

I would wake up and my first thought of the day would be sadness. All related to the break up of course. It's those horrible moments that catch you off guard when something reminds you of them or when something exciting happens and you want to share it with them and then you remember, that it's over. Heartache is a dead weight and one that filters into every art of your life. Even though that pain was long ago I never lose empathy for who I was back then and those in a similar situation now. The pain and the anger display themselves differently in each person but the deeper I went into the hurt the more desperate I became to find ways to escape it. The easiest way I found to avoid the pain was anger. I got so good at being angry that it was the background noise for my life. I made everything “his fault” and by doing so, unknowingly at the time, turned myself into a victim within the situation. And that's where I stayed for years. When I look back at all my art, my writing, my lyrics, my diaries from that time I notice that the rage I felt then was so overt and also so normalised. It may places and in many social circles I was applauded for my victim status and often attracted a crowd. But then I started to look at life, I grew up a little, I started to see love in the world again and I remembered that I have a soul.

 

 

When you approach life through the lens of a victim you see everything as happening TO you. You put yourself in the position of a helpless pawn being battered by life and always somehow coming off worse. When you approach life through the lens of your soul you see yourself as a collaborator of your experience and you put yourself in a position to learn. There is no need to demonise those that hurt you, even if they are doing a pretty good “demon” impression. At the end of the day they have a soul too. A major step in moving me out of my victimhood and into a space of ownership was learning to forgive the person that hurt me and of course taking the time to forgive myself. People are attracted to you for a reason, they are repelled from you for a reason too. It's easy to slip back into blame and guilt when doing this work but both of them are expressions of victimhood. Instead of blame just take responsibility, instead of being guilty, absorb the lesson and use it to transform you into a better version of yourself.

 

 

When your heart is broken it will hurt. Let it hurt. Sit in the pain until is passes because IT WILL PASS. You will see the other side of it. If you don't go through the pain, cry the tears, learn the lessons then you are just going to repeat the same pattern over and over again. If you find that your love life seems to in a groundhog day sequel then start to unravel it by asking yourself, “Which pain haven't I healed?”. It will take time. It took me years. It did though eventually lead me down a path to where I fell so deeply in love with who I am and with life around me that I can do nothing but watch how the Universe falls over itself to rise to meet that energy. We all have the capacity to be a victim to the world and it's a glamourous invitation to do so but, what it invites into your life as a result is never really worth the pay off. Taking ownership of your life, your energy, your own heart is tough. There's a reason people avoid it! But when you do it you won't just see the world around you, you'll see into it and of course further into you. Knowing that you create your life frm the inside out and living that truth are two seperate things and I advise in the beginning taking it slowly. Forgive everyone for everything and know that no matter what pain you are sitting in you get the choice to turn that pain into the fuel that transforms you forever.

 

 

Big Love,

 

Ryan James x

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